Friday, October 19, 2012
Shopping at Kohl's: Kohl-Dependent
"Kohl's, where you can expect great things." The Kohl's company slogan.
For the uninitiated, Kohl's is a ubiquitous department store in the U.S. It seems as if every strip mall in the U.S. has a Kohl's. I became initiated with Kohl's last summer in a big way when doing back-to-school shopping for my children. Eleanor and I dropped close to $500 on our children (children outgrow clothes way too quickly!). As I was succumbing to the shock of the bill, the Kohl's cashier said, "Y'know you can save an additional 15% on your total bill if you open up a Kohl's charge account." Eleanor was saying that we should open up the charge account and then just pay it off in full when the bill came. I then got to thinking, "An additional 15% off of the already 20% off, that's 35% off [If a purchase is over $100, then it is automatically 20% off]! As I said, I've become initiated. 35% off of $500 is over $150, I'll take that. So, we opened up a Kohl's charge account and the Kohl-Dependency began.
There is a scene in the movie Godfather 3 when Michael Corleone says, "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." This is how I feel about Kohl's. Ever since Eleanor and I opened the Kohl's account, just when I think I won't set foot in the store again something takes me back up in there. For example, Kohl's dollars. As my son would say, "I'm a hundrednaire in Kohl's dollars." Then, there is always a sale, "Take 20, 30, 40% off this week only." After the week concludes, a new sale begins or the old one continues under a different name. I'm not complaining, I'm all for a sale, sales are great, just making an observation. It seems like everywhere I look around my home there is a Kohl's sales circular, a grey Kohl's shopping bag, Kohl's coupons, or Kohl's dollars. The ironic thing is, Eleanor and I are fairly frugal, we don't like to shop, and we don't shop that often. Kohl's just likes to give us lots of love.
Here is my most recent Kohl's experience. I was in Kohl's exchanging bed sheets. I picked up the new bed sheets and went to check out. The cashier who seemed to be having a so-so day rang up the total and I was a little surprised at the price. My new sheets, which were smaller were more expensive than the ones that I exchanged. I'm sure it was an oversight on my part and I just was not expecting the price to be more expensive. The cashier witnessed my surprise and as a result, she proceeded to take a handful of scratch off cards. She then said, "Pick a card, any card, and scratch off the silver part of the card. Whatever number appears is the percentage off on your total purchase." I was like, "What?!" She repeated herself and the scene felt as if it were half casino/half convenience store playing a scratch off lotto game. I followed her instructions, I scratched off 15% and that was taken off my bill and the price of the new sheets ended up being less expensive than the original sheets. As I was in line paying for the sheets, I just shook my head. At this, the cashier who had great teeth (Great teeth always stand out to me) asked, "Is this your first time at Kohl's?" I replied, "No, not at all, but every time I step in Kohl's, it's always a different experience." At this she cracked a smile and laughed. Then, I said, "I think I'm going to write a blog post about this particular experience," and the cashier laughed some more.
No doubt, I ended up in Kohl's a few more times before the summer concluded. And I know I will be back in Kohl's next summer as well. The next time I return to Kohl's I should not be surprised, I should just come to expect something is going to happen.